Friday, April 01, 2005
oUt Of oRdeR
Don’t you just hate it when something is oUt of oRdeR?
Imagine yourself staggering home, only to reach the lift lobby to realize that the lift(s) deliberately went on a strike.
Imagine after perspiring, you walk to your room only to find out that the air-conditioner decides to forsake you.
Imagine you are bathing halfway, the lights and water went off. You’re left in a mess of foam.
Imagine you just entered the last word of your 10,000 words report, before you could save the document, your laptop decides to shut down for the day.
Imagine you ran to the vending machine, only to see it proudly proclaim itself out of order.
Imagine when you push/pull the flush, it stubbornly refuses to swallow your deposits.
Imagine your badly abused phone finally lose its willpower to live on, and along with it, went the phone memory with all your contacts.
And the worst of all?
When YOU realized that YOU are the one who is out of order.
Yes. I am out of order. I can’t shit. Yes. U heard, rather saw, it correctly. Constipation.
I dubbed myself the shit-dispensing machine. Now. I am out of order. I became the shit- accumulating machine instead.damn.
Bananas didn’t help. One whole giant swensen earthquake didn’t too.
So, PLEASE. Everyone. Be sensitive about what you say.
*Warning
Banned words: shit, toilet, loo, washroom, ladies, constipation, bloated, bowels, da bian, toilet bowl, toilet paper, stomachache, brown?!, flies?!, defecate, poo, toilet train, big business, smelly, stinko, bladder, large intestine, waste, fibre, diahorrea, etc.
You get it, right? U better do.
Oh. Left out an important one:
SAI.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Machine Out of Order.
dictated by the Queen at 4:09 PM