Monday, May 15, 2006
here i am
thinking things.
thinking things 5 years down the road.
i understand.
i shouldnt be.
who knows what the future brings?
who knows what can happen.
no one.
i know it's no point thinking whether it'll work
it's about making it work.
i'm sorry but that fear lies within me.
i dont dare to fall too deep,
and fall badly again.
i cant help but think.
i hate to make assumptions.
yet. i have to think about my life too.
if it fails.
22+5=27.
past my ideal.but well.
i know i cant afford.
i dont want to see myself in such a situation.
i cant put myself through hurt too often.
i cant help but think.
the only child has added responsiblities.
and i certainly dont want to prove my mum right after all those years....
i worry too much for my own good.
maybe u just listen to them?
it's back to being -ve again.
i know.
it's precisely with the possible commitment that i am getting all uptight.
i believe in you.
but i cant just live day by day.
i cherish every day and every single moment,
but i dont want to do it knowing that it will all be lost down the road.
nothing is guaranteed in this life journey,
but we should perhaps look ahead,
think of possible obstacles and think of how to solve them.
isnt it?
problems need time to solve.
everything needs time.
problems need longer time.
i dont want my worries today to still be worries by then.
i need assurance and plans.
i dont need fuck.
love, me.
dictated by the Queen at 12:00 AM
