Monday, January 29, 2007
just another disagreement?
it's just a bad option to speak to him about my so-called future.
because i've given it lots of thoughts.
and these are the things you cant afford to do after u work permanently,
start a family,
give birth..
or just simply get older.
because i dint get to hear that u feel i made any sense at all
only those constant reminders that i got to find a "proper job"
so what constitutes a "proper job"?
sth which made you work within a confine area,
nothing which will exactly excite my mind most of the time?
nothing to do with children, with designing, with fashion or travelling?
gosh.
i cant imagine.
well actually i can.
but i thought that
maybe i can do something about it.
maybe.i dint play sports
cant dance
din dare take up a course that i really love
and for once,
want to do sth i love before its too late..
and all i get is this.
cos i am not someone who is able to "dont mind everything"
i have expectations of myself
of people around me.
just dont call it nua-ing my time away.
i just want to be selfish and happy when i can.
you made it sound like that's less impt than what u can tell ur mum.
i know how terrible a girl i am.
and even a worse girlfriend.
but just dont let me feel stupid pls.
u're the first i told my options to,
and this happened.
i wldnt dare tell u any related next time.
dont you see it?
fatness is relative.
smartness is relative too.
so is hardworking-ness.
and height.
i hate the constraints of being an only child.
the burden of providing for parents, alone.
two person worked for one.
soon, one person soon hafta work for two.
i remember the times when u told me about ur plans for making those acrylic stands/shelves.
i liked that.
and you liked that.
and i liked that, that you liked that.
i know you will succeed, even if its not that.
i know what we both dislike.
we just wanna be happy, right?
i just realised i got very little time left.
i just realised:
i really enjoy dancing in the club, so what if its ugly?at least it feels good
i can save money and go bangkok and hongkong to see disneyland, without taking $ from parents
i dont have to sleep alot everyday
i can get the chance to be busy, happily busy too
i just have a problem of showing my displeasure, and i will argue whenever you have different opinion from me.
but there was a time when i argued and i saw the other perspective too..... i was most of the time convinced. i can be convinced. i can be controlled willingly too.
show me ur viewpoint. argue with me. fight it out with me. just dont keep quiet. i hate it. so do you.
so why?
it's not just another disagreement.
dictated by the Queen at 1:27 AM
