陈卓思灵: April 2005

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

bad omen

i am not usually superstitous. but. sometimes..

when there's too much blue and orange, i just know it.
even when you want to have fun. all they expose you to are blue and orange.side by side.
kbox.they really dont have to colour code 2 areas side by side blue n orange. the whole corridor walls and doors are colour coded.
first it's an orange room. air con wasnt functioning. so we switched.yes.you've guess it.
to a blue room.oh.you have to hear the best part.the walls in orange.what kind of combination is that?!

i knew something bad was coming. not just one.

1. two friends entertained us. with their "dancing" and singing.
2. this waiter kept asking us if we wanted kIce.
3. my left leg was being used for a pillow for almost 2hours.

but overall.i had fun.

and gosh. i slpt for half the day.literally. almost 13 hours.

dictated by the Queen at 11:59 PM | 0 protest

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

post exam syndrome

i realised that i really need 2 things.
time management
anger management

time: i didnt exactly finish my papers.too many questions too little time.that's what people always say right? i even except for IT-although it could have been more complete.

anger: gosh.i feel like whacking the clock and tearing the papers.pulling out my hair.open up my head.look for my brains.

boy.i sound terrible.but dont need to comfort me.the end of the exams is enough for me.

escape from:

john, robert and michael. i m glad to get away from their political games, biases, conflicts, sick of their leadership styles and their what-the-*beep* competency model.

ben and robert. enough of that exchange rate policy.hate their minimium wage too.worse of all that has to be elasticity.

valerie and benny. gosh. think i cant take their negligence anymore. no more partnership with them. no future contracts.

robert and william. the only thing i am thankful for. the internet, telecommunications, hardware and software, e-commerce. but really.i dont need the details. save me the ADSL, ISDN, HTTP, FLOPS, MIPS, ERD...

*if anyone want to be a textbook writer.maybe you should consider naming yourself robert.alternatively ben, benjamin, benny, benard etc. you get the idea.

now.i can rest in peace.

dictated by the Queen at 11:25 PM | 0 protest

Sunday, April 17, 2005

section 1704

to my dearest fren who turns 20 today:
below is an advertisement i ran for her.

=========================================================

the straight(s) times
classified ads
section 1704 personal ad

hi there.i am just your girl-next-door type of person.a simple person who enjoys the indoors-eating and sleeping. those are the 2 best things in life.don't you agree?anyway, i am totally into the colour blue. must have got something to do with my genes.well.people say i look like smurfs.dont judge me by my petite frame, i may be small, but i am one tough cookie.

anyone who is interested to know a friend who is scared of animals, fussy about how her hair is being cut, loves to eat honey dew, loves to RE-take photos, or simply someone who is always noisy, contact me at this number ********.
i like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear your brain cells dying.

i am the meaning of paranoid.
please do not be annonymous.leave your full name, mother's maiden name, house address, home, handphone and office number, house and email address, ic number, your office or school address, birthdate, age, and blood type..etc
and of course. attach a well-taken photo.

thank you.

=========================================================

hmmm.
my advice:
be a paranoid in reverse.
suspect people of plotting to make you happy instead.

at least it's true. that's what i am trying to do.

*you're smiling..your're giggling..you're laughing..don't die of laughter k.
calm down.

ruth tan!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
who's the best?!

*muaCkz.i love ruth.

dictated by the Queen at 11:34 AM | 0 protest

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i should have known

nothing is impossible
he said

i disagreed

in the end
he was right

you'll never know
promises are not meant to be kept

i should have known

he never told me
i should have known

he did not tell me
i should have known

he never did want to tell me
i should have known

dictated by the Queen at 3:23 PM | 0 protest

that day

walking

dhoby ghaut

city hall

silence

cars

flashes of light

capitol building

yes

i spoke

warmth

firmly

teared

happy

gushes

people

let go

soon

i smiled

simple

pure joy

dictated by the Queen at 2:58 PM | 1 protest

Thursday, April 14, 2005

today

miss me everybody?
i dont care. even if you dont. you have to start now.

been interacting with my OB textbook lately.and from today onwards.it will be cast away.no matter how hard it tries to entice me with the colourful tabs..i will not respond to it.glad i can disown it now.hopefully permanently.*prays hard

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. my morning paper

gosh. those of you who knows me well enough. there are 2 colours which i dont really fancy. orange n blue. guess wat. my exam hall. the tables. are orange. and the girl seated in front of me.i swear. she is out to spite me. how many people actually own orange jackets? wat a good omen.well well.

2. lunch

wOw.lunch was a huge affair.we ate like we haven ate for days. serious. at least i felt that way. fried rice, noodles, guo tie and lion head. *laughs. serious. and pls. it's not simba or watever.
oh yes!and of cos.how can i forget. our source of 辛福-ness!!! XL bao! please. it's not XL as in eXtra Large. gosh.ironically, it's so damn small. xiao long bao!!

3. arcade

(i)DRUMs

*we looked like idiots. you know arcades they have those drums and basses. where it was meant for ONE person to play..well. 5 of us played together. combined age of 19X2 + 20 + 21 + 26 and we thought that would made us score well. all we could managed was "D"s and "E"s. and that's only the beginner' stage. and u thought that must have been bad enough.

*a guy who has been waiting for his turn took over us. expert level. score B. ALONE. and he is younger than all of us. totally thrashed us. i had to clap for him.

(ii) DayToNa

*i found out that being drivers in real life does not mean you will win daytona. in fact, quite the oppposite.

*again.another bad omen.my car was brown.

*dont be cheapo and use that side track after the checkpoint.

*some people dont learn from their mistakes. 2 times at pit work during a race. *laughs

*gears are difficult to control. luckily i had my co-driver.

4. dont overeat

* blueberry waffle apparently doesnt go well with crystal jade.

5. yoghurt

*aloe vera yoghurt. packaging looks good. smell bad. inside looks like a mix of white glue with jelly cubes. surprisingly. the taste is not bad!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well. now it's back to bond-bond time with my Ben and Robert. both are craving for my attention to touch and caress them. yes. both at the same time.
though i wish they are more visually stimulating,
a good girl has to do what a good girl has to do.
study.

3 more papers to go! 19th 25th 26th. cant wait.

dictated by the Queen at 9:52 PM | 0 protest

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

how to tell if you like a girl

when you...

1. Draw her something cos’ you know she loves drawing

2. Tries to make her happy by giving in to her
No matter how demanding or ridiculous

3. Are willing to cook for her

4. Know her favourite food

5. Have her or her words on your MSN nick

6. Tolerate her attitude
In fact, you find it cute

7. Find her irreplaceable

8. Have to think for a long time before you can tell her you like her

9. Cant really find a reason as to why you like her
You just do

dictated by the Queen at 9:21 PM | 1 protest

Sunday, April 10, 2005

lizards and canto

this is not some dicovery channel. there's no lizard which speaks canto. nor sings canto pop.
2 separate topics.

1. lizards
why i was never on friendly terms with them.
they...

(a) are creepy. and invasive. well. they came into my territory. yes. they eat up mosquitoes and other insects. and there isnt any here.

(b) are lizards

(c) belong to the animal kingdom. (humans belong too.but hey. that's a different story)

(d) drop their tails in self-defence. they litter the place with their own body parts. cant they treasure the body that their parents have given them? goodness.

(e) have sticky pads under their paws. well. i am not sure how reliable they are. it sticks on all surface? i doubt so. i cant get the assurance after the oh-so-many horrors of horrors stories that i have heard. besides. the sticky pads are not manufactured by 3M. how can i be sure?

(f) are weird creatures that walk upside down.
the only merit they have is they may be more insightful. well. they see the world in a different perspective, dont they?

2. Canto
sudden interest in the language. the motivation? a hongkong shopping trip. hopefully soon.
these are what i've learnt:

LESSON 1

english: i love you
canto: ngoh oil lei2
application: oh. of coz to use it on that special someone. just that i haven found mine.

english: i like you
canto: ngoh zong yi lei2
application: to charm people

english: i am a pretty girl
canto: ngoh hai leng loy
application: well. to describe myself. duh

english: wash clothes
canto: sai sum
application: handy for laundry days in hall!! to use on you-know-who.

english: hurry up
canto: (de)-fy ti1
application: to be use in conjunction with above.

english: i'll wait for you
canto: ngoh dang lei2
application: in a bid to act patient.

english: sleep
canto: fan gao2
application: to tell people i am tired and stop bothering me. i am popular.i cant help it. *oOps

english: have you eaten?
canto: sek bao2 mei3 ?
application: to act polite

english: yes
canto: hai3
application: to answer questions?

english: how much?
canto: gek tall leh?
application: not obvious? to ask for prices?!

hmmm.ok.i know. only the last one is applicable for my HK shopping trip. it's just the basic what.right? those who know more. teach me!

ngoh hai fan gao2.
i bless me with good sleep!

dictated by the Queen at 12:27 PM | 1 protest

Friday, April 08, 2005

in a cubicle

*SHIT
i think i am kinda addicted to topics related to shit.

well.today someone just told me what the games in those mobile phones are for.and this friend just came out of the you-know-where.yes.that's the place.some call it the loo, others insist on being "classy" and call them ladies or gents, a number of them call them the restroom and washroom (as if they went there to wash or rest).well.to me, that's the plain old TOILET.

anyway,i was sitting inside one when it occurred to me...What others do inside the toilet.hmmm.i mean while doing their BIG business.i.e.SHIT.OMG.i am so not lady-like.But i dont care.in this competitive, fast-moving, ever-changing, evolving world, it is best to be direct. *laughs

so.here are some of my suggestions as to what YOU can do in the TOILET, while YOU deposit credits into your toilet bowl.
(some taken from own experiences, others gathered with intense research, and a few with good old imagination)

here goes:

1. read newspaper/magazines
i bet this is like one of the most common thing that people do. you do right? you bring your brad pitt or daniel wu or S.H.E or lindsay lohan into the toilet to share your stink bomb. they offered you good company, yet you ungrateful people returned the favour with diffusion of those smell molecules onto their faces. think about it. *repent
next, after the ordeal in the toilet, you bring out the papers/mag and well.what?retain the stink for the next person who recycles it? *eeewl.
oh. maybe yours is THE recycled one.

2. sing to yourself
please.only do this in the comfort of your own bathroom. preferably only those who has a good voice. and for those still trying to erm, perfect their singing: the rest of the world doesnt need to share the croaking and off keys, on top of that "aroma" that you are spreading. Really.
but dont fret. you can still listen to good music. *smile

3. eat fruits
i recommend banana or papaya. sounds disgusting eating in the toilet. but this is good advice for fellow sufferers like me. i was an ex-constipator, i want to share how i managed to survive through that torturous "disease". how i overcame all odds and managed to recover. so dont you laugh.may you be cursed with a day when you are out of order and stuck in the toilet with no banana or papaya to come to your rescue. just keep in mind good advice, no matter how terrible it may sound.

4. watch TV
i mean like watch. not hear or listen to the TV. get a some TV, put it somewhere near the toilet. when necessary, simply bring it into the toilet.well.there you go.receiving information and knowledge even when in the toilet. that's what i call managing your time.

5. talk on the phone
diffusion cant occur through the phone. so no worries. your dear, darling, crush, admirer, best friend etc wont know what you are at, IF you dont tell them so. please. most people cant stand the thought of talking a person who is so engaged in the toilet.so yes. of course.dont give any other obvious hints by the flush of the toilet etc. be discret.

6. play with the toilet paper
well. keep in mind.this is only for those damn boliao people. and please use your own teeny weeny brains to play only in public toilets. so much for them teaching me about being considerate. well. the fact remains. public toilets will never be the same as your own.besides.you wouldnt want your mum to come after you.
trust me.

7. play games
on your phones. make sure u download more games beforehand if you are those who camp inside the toilet. and dont say you are not warned. exposing your eyes to prolonged puzzle bubble will make you tempoarily colour blind. so unless you are already colour blind, it doesnt really matter.wait.if you are colour blind you probably wouldnt score well in the game and thus wont play for long.so i guess this is only for those not colour blind yet.

8. surf the net
expose yourself to the world wide web. well.always on the go.of cos, this is only applicable for those with the luxury of a laptop.

9. get some paper and pen
doodle. unleash your creativity. or wallow in your lack of it.

10. concentrate.
this is the most time saving. get it over and done with. a person deep in concentration is an attractive person. hope it applies even in the toilet.

i bet some of you have even better ideas.but well.i am THE PROFESSIONAL here k.
respect.

Thank you.

dictated by the Queen at 12:27 PM | 0 protest

Thursday, April 07, 2005

LOST in Transit

Let me announce 1st up. This entry isn’t blogged by me. As in ME. Good to always clarify things from the start.

Well. Now that we can start..
I must confess that I’ve super low EQ. I’ve a problem with translating my emotions into verbal, coherent expressions… Hence the “Graphical illustration”.
Hmm, but on 2nd thought, who has PERFECT EQ skills? No one right?
There! I feel better already. What a wonderful world :)

*stamps feet agitatedly
ARRGH…. The stupid movie was disappointing. K. Let me try that again. It was DISAPPOINTING! There. Get my point now?
U dun? U dun get what I’m talking about? U moron! Must be u didn’t pay careful attention to what I typed above right? I typed that the movie I was watc…
Erm.. I haven’t typed that yet? Erm.. U’re still at fault!!
(Disclaimer: You were already warned at the above that the ‘typer’ has low EQ.)

Yup. I meant that just before blogging this entry, I watched “The Terminal”. Nope. Not “Terminator”…
*shudders
*Innocently: “Did anybody feel that gush of cold wind?”

The point is.. wait what’s my point?
Erm.. WHAT?!! Can’t u just be more patient? *pounds feet angrily
I already told u that I NEED time to sort out my thoughts.

Point being: Viktor didn’t end up with Amelia. The show ended with.. wait!! OMG it didn’t even end with a scene of them!! Cardinal!!!
*waves fist animatedly in the air

But no. THAT isn’t my point! *horrified-ly

I mean.. (can't remember)

…………………..

Oh!
Anyway, it was this: Viktor (e main character, if u didn’t already know TOOT!) asked the lady this all-important Q, over the airport counter!

Here it is: “Would u choose a man with $$ or a man with love?”

WOW! Bet that hit u real hard? Dun worry. It did me too! *smirks smugly

Anyway, the 2 others beside me went like this:
Person A: Person with $.
Person 2: Of cos love lar.

We have a balanced argument here. BUT, I propose a new stand!

*Drumrolls pls.

All you ladies out there, choose a guy with $. THEN choose a guy with love.

Since we won’t ever know if THE ONE would ever turn up. I say, just grab whoever comes along, provided he has $ of cos. With $, one can have all the love in the world. Then, if one with love does come along, grab him! We smart arses shouldn’t have to spend our lives hung up on waiting for Mr. Right (with love).

Cheers!

PS. The views expressed here are not representative of who or what so ever.
And, comments are NOT welcomed :)

dictated by the Queen at 12:03 PM | 0 protest

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Graphical illustration

Heard of Gardner’s Multiple Intelligence?

According to that test, I am high in Spatial Intelligence^.
You’ll soon find out why.

Ways to deal with People you hate, dislike, loathe, abhor, despise, abnominate… !

*warning: M18. contains explicit contents.
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME.
Try them outside.

Tactic 1: Potato Wedges
Target: people who are oh-so health-conscious, those who loves to eat salads.
Tool(s): mesh wires
Method: squeeze them through the mesh wire. just like how French fries are made.
Note: sprinkle tons of salt.

Tactic 2: Magic clean
Target: people who criticise you for being a clean freak
Tool(s): washing machine, detergent, butcher’s chopper
Method: chop up their limbs, collect the parts and dump everything into the washing machine.
Note: Since it’s a large washing load, be sure to use one cap full of detergent.

Tactic 3: Bounce baby out the door
Target: people who should have been blind
Tool(s): bare hands
Method: using two fingers of either right or left hand, reach out to the person’s eyes. Scoop them out. Bounce them out of the door. The eyes I mean.
Note: use your stronger hand so that both eyes can be settled at one go.

Tactic 4: Free fall
Target: people who keep cats in school
Tool(s): rat/ mouse
Method: lure the cat out for the room. Throw the rat/ mouse down the block. Since cats love rats, cats can be happily continue to haunt rats even in death.
Note: repeat 8 times if necessary. Get 9 rats/mice. As the saying goes, a cat has nine lives.

Tactic 5: Through the wall
Target: people who are simply irritating. e.g. those who jumps around on your bed, with or without dirty feet.
Tool(s): super power hands
Method: place target in front of the wall. Smash.
Note: don’t believe your physics textbook. Work is done when one pushes the wall.

Tactic 6: Do Re Mi
Target: people who know they cant sing, yet they do.
Tool(s): thread and needle, zipper
Method: using thread and needle, stitch the zipper on the person’s mouth.
Note: recycle those zippers on luggage bags. Attach a lock on the zipper when you are done.

Tactic 7: the Last Resort
Target: on people who are simply *^%$&@#
Tool(s): thumb tacks
Method: push all thumb tacks into the flesh
Note: push in at right angles. It saves you effort. Oh yes. Use a variety of colours.

Power intelligence, don’t you agree?

Disclaimer: the words and thoughts do not represent that of the blog owner.

^Readings: The spatial intelligence manifests in a variety of ways. Transforming mental images is a spatial skill that engineers and designers depend on. When a hiker pauses with map and compass, it is the spatial intelligence that conceptualizes the path. Through the spatial sense, a painter "feels" the tension, balance and composition of a painting. Spatial ability is also "the more abstract intelligence of a chess master, a battle commander, or a theoretical physicist" (194), as well as the familiar ability to recognize objects, faces, and details.

dictated by the Queen at 2:49 AM | 0 protest

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Attack of the bandit cats

No idea what’s the title all about? Well. Didn’t expect you to.

That was the title of a book which I last read. It was a feat. I actually finish all 42 pages. Every single word. From the cover page to the publishing house to the back of the book to the barcode.

Don’t laugh.

It’s a children’s book. So what? When was the last time you even complete a book? At least not as detailed as me. *hmph

anyway, my thoughts:

it’s too expensive
$9.90 a copy. And that’s after discount. Only paperback copy.

Children’s books still revolve around animals.
We have so many other things to write about. Must it always be animals? Must we traumatize the young ones?
I finally realized why I got my phobia and repulsion towards animals.

Cats still want to eat rats.
I don’t get it. Do you ever see a cat chasing after a rat? Or a rat being chased by a cat? Either way, no right? So why has children's book and cartoons talked about dogs go after cats and cats love to chase rats all this while?

Cats are still depicted as stupid.
In this story (as in any other cats and rats story), the cats perceive themselves as being as more intellectually superior. their reasoning?
Bigger physical size = Bigger brains = Smarter.
Well. Cats have all along been kinda dumb. *think Tom and Slyvester.

Plus, Cats deserve to being stereotyped that way:
For squatting at my doorstep and effectively locking me inside my own room. And for the many times they attempted to stalked me at the void deck.

I don’t discriminate against animals. It was a mere discussion.

Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss things. Great minds discuss animals.
-anonymous
respect my privacy.

dictated by the Queen at 5:55 PM | 0 protest

An Incoherent Entry

Woke up this ~~morning~~ afternoon and certain mysteries in life suddenly became crystal-clear:

1) Mee sua goes well with fries. But only if they are hot (the fries, not the mee sua, though come to think about it, the mee sua should be hot too).

2) Old people likes to carry large umbrellas (don't ask). Even those bi-fold (or is it tri-fold?) brollies can be incredibly large.

3) Ambulance ferries the sick, fire engines help put out fires, and police vehicles carry police personnel whose presence is much needed in an emergency. Courtesy of the BT handbook for highlighting those facts of life which wasn't obvious before I read it. Yah rite.

4) Golden-haired monkeys are constantly hungry.

5) Housewives are curiously desperate. Everyone seems to have good skin, which is weird. I feel a zit coming.

6) I shouldn't be blogging, because my paper's like in, what, another week?

Forgive me for sounding incoherent. I need someone to deliver me a McFlurry.

dictated by the Queen at 3:26 PM | 0 protest

Sunday, April 03, 2005

deflated !!!

You know. Like a balloon. I am flat now. I have cleared it. *woohoo

Just to clear some myths:
Constipation is NOT contagious.
Having constipation does not make one full of shit.

Anyway,
Below are some tips I MUST and I INSIST on sharing with you all.

Trust me.

seven SURE ways to be get rid of SHIT:

1. The ultimate cure was 3 bananas. One after the other. Yes. I m desperate. Desperate to empty myself. Don’t look at me that way.. you would too if you were in my position.

Speaking of bananas. They say monkeys eat bananas, right? So monkey won’t get constipation at all? Not ever? Do animals get constipation? Imagine an elephant getting one. That amount of shit. *I am already feeling nausea.

2. Do your big business on higher ground. Gravity proved helpful.

3. Must sit down, concentrate and push! Focus is key.
I followed this advice from a friend. Well. It works. He must have A LOT of relevant experience. *laughs. Thanx fren.

4. Constantly have friend(s) who look like s*** around you to remind you of what you have to do.*laughs. Cool it, I enjoy lying remember?

5. A good friend who buys you 40 horrible sachets of powder to make drinks (albeit with good intentions) to aid digestion.

6. An even better roommie who monitor you closely to drink that horrible stuff. And also you need one who will threaten to drag you to the doctor if you don’t get well soon enough.

7. Broadcast your constipation problem on your blog.
I got to say I got a concerned bunch of friends around me.
Everyone you see or talk to or msn with will constantly bring up the sensitive issue.
Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. It’s so strong, it finally helped push the whole load of shit out of me.

*announcement: shit dispensing machine is back to normal working condition.

dictated by the Queen at 4:26 PM | 0 protest

Saturday, April 02, 2005

SugAr BabEs.

Ok.i know I shdnt be thinking of more food to accumulate in myself. Well. I got this weakness for rich desserts. It’s in my genes, although not hereditary. *laughs

Those who know me will know that I have always wanted to eat some kind of pasty or dessert buffet. Well. I chanced upon something close enough to it. Was looking thru’ Her World online..This is what I chance upon.

Good stuff.

Heaven.

Ice3 - 11 Kensington Park, Serangoon Gardens, opposite Chomp Chomp, Tel: 6282-8126 With 100 varieties of waffles, chocolate fondues and ice creams (imagine 4 menu pages dedicated to sundaes!) at to choose from, you'll be spending more time drooling than chatting with friends. Besides the distracting displays of cakes and tarts, you'll also be hooked by shelves of alcohol and liqueur bottles. Don't expect any alcoholic drinks though. The liquor is meant for the Magic Potion dessert, as part of the topping sauce, where your ice cream comes served in a test tube. Another speciality: Mexican fried ice cream. It comes encased in a savoury and hot crispy crust and topped with swirls of chocolate sauce.

I can resist everything except temptation.

I suppose I can book a seat overnight there. Wah. Hope it’s nice. Shall go and gobble them down after my exams. i m seeking sponsor(s) here. Any kind souls?

Erm. Well. Weight is important, but that’s the whole idea of dieting to begin with rite?

See. If I gain weight, I get the chance to enrol in a slimming programme. Hahhaha..of course I will lose weight successfully and next they will be dying for me for endorsement. Soon. You will see me everywhere. From the straits times to buses to her world magazines….and the rest is history..

Anyway, I love doing personality tests, and this one is for you guys.

Out of the following desserts, choose the one u love most.

Strawberry short cake
Chocolate on chocolate
Angel food
Brownies
Lemon meringue
Ice cream
Vanilla ice cream with chocolate
Carrot cake

DON’T CHEAT!!!

Analysis:

Strawberry short cake
You are romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on chocolate
You are, sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Angel food
Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice-cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

Brownies
You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs. When tempers flare up, you stand your ground. You are always the oddball with unique sense of humour and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon meringue
Smooth, sexy, and articulate with your hands. You are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gun at the same time. A bit of a solo at times but you have many friends.

Ice cream
You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give ip the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Vanilla ice cream with chocolate
Fun-loving, sassy, humourous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you a friend for life.

Carrot cake
You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Well. I am a chocolate on chocolate.

dictated by the Queen at 6:28 PM | 0 protest

Friday, April 01, 2005

oUt Of oRdeR

Don’t you just hate it when something is oUt of oRdeR?

Imagine yourself staggering home, only to reach the lift lobby to realize that the lift(s) deliberately went on a strike.
Imagine after perspiring, you walk to your room only to find out that the air-conditioner decides to forsake you.
Imagine you are bathing halfway, the lights and water went off. You’re left in a mess of foam.
Imagine you just entered the last word of your 10,000 words report, before you could save the document, your laptop decides to shut down for the day.
Imagine you ran to the vending machine, only to see it proudly proclaim itself out of order.
Imagine when you push/pull the flush, it stubbornly refuses to swallow your deposits.
Imagine your badly abused phone finally lose its willpower to live on, and along with it, went the phone memory with all your contacts.

And the worst of all?
When YOU realized that YOU are the one who is out of order.
Yes. I am out of order. I can’t shit. Yes. U heard, rather saw, it correctly. Constipation.
I dubbed myself the shit-dispensing machine. Now. I am out of order. I became the shit- accumulating machine instead.damn.

Bananas didn’t help. One whole giant swensen earthquake didn’t too.

So, PLEASE. Everyone. Be sensitive about what you say.

*Warning

Banned words: shit, toilet, loo, washroom, ladies, constipation, bloated, bowels, da bian, toilet bowl, toilet paper, stomachache, brown?!, flies?!, defecate, poo, toilet train, big business, smelly, stinko, bladder, large intestine, waste, fibre, diahorrea, etc.
You get it, right? U better do.

Oh. Left out an important one: SAI.

Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Machine Out of Order.

dictated by the Queen at 4:09 PM | 0 protest